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function getKeywords() { $refer = parse_url($_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER']); $host = $refer['host']; $refer = $refer['query']; if(strstr($host,'google')) { //do google stuff $match = preg_match('/&q=([a-zA-Z0-9+-]+)/',$refer, $output); $querystring = $output[0]; $querystring = str_replace('&q=','',$querystring); $keywords = explode('+',$querystring); return $keywords; } elseif(strstr($host,'yahoo')) { //do yahoo stuff $match = preg_match('/p=([a-zA-Z0-9+-]+)/',$refer, $output); $querystring = $output[0]; $querystring = str_replace('p=','',$querystring); $keywords = explode('+',$querystring); return $keywords; } elseif(strstr($host,'msn')) { //do msn stuff $match = preg_match('/q=([a-zA-Z0-9+-]+)/',$refer, $output); $querystring = $output[0]; $querystring = str_replace('q=','',$querystring); $keywords = explode('+',$querystring); return $keywords; } else { //else, who cares return false; } } $searchad=0; $refer = $_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER']; //if (InStr ($refer, "yahoo", false)) { $searchad=1; } //if (InStr ($refer, "google", false)) { $searchad=1; } if (findstr($refer, "yahoo")) { $searchad=1; $arr=$arr = parse_url($refer); parse_str($arr['query'], $kdata); $kword = $kdata['p']; } if (findstr($refer, "google")) { $searchad=1; $arr=$arr = parse_url($refer); parse_str($arr['query'], $kdata); $kword = $kdata['q']; } if (findstr($refer, "bing")) { $searchad=1; $arr=$arr = parse_url($refer); parse_str($arr['query'], $kdata); $kword = $kdata['q']; } if (findstr($refer, "baidu")) { $searchad=1; $arr=$arr = parse_url($refer); parse_str($arr['query'], $kdata); $kword = $kdata['wd']; } $kwords=getKeywords(); $kword=$kwords[0]; if ($kword=='') { $kword=$header_title; } //echo $refer; if ($searchad==1) { //$refer=str_replace(".","%2E",$refer); //'$refer=str_replace(":","%3A",$refer); //$refer=str_replace("/","%2F",$refer); //$refer=str_replace("=","%3D",$refer); //echo $refer; $kw = array("auditing","accounting services","攝影服務","access control","門禁系統","私家偵探","employment agency","carpet cleaning","滅蟲","裝修清潔","交友","pet","movie","florist","果籃","music","電腦配件","bag","company formation","business center","貿易","design","video","冷氣工程","email hosting","computer network","erp system","pos system","computer hardware","scanner","domain","寄存","會計系統","製作網頁","推廣","production","party","汽車","金融","card","銀行","debt","loan","cleaning","數碼印刷","債務重組","bridal make up","hot yoga","舞蹈","贈品","網上購物網站","color laser printer","視像會議","document storage","storage service","搬屋","courier","make up","纖體","護膚","美容中心","彩光脫毛","beijing hotel","tour","自由行","平價機票","環保袋","overseas education","進修","education","mba hong kong","補習中介","cell phone","ip phone","債務重組","translation","攝影","access control system","門禁","偵探","recruitment","cleaning","旅行","flower shop","情人節","piano","TAX","shopping bag","公司秘書","商業登記","business","design company","accounting","防火門","server","電腦公司","erp","trading software","lcd mon","motherboard","domain name","account software","web design","廣告宣傳","宣傳","噴畫","表演","currency","insurance","credit card","property","financial planning","telephone system","清潔","宣傳單張","律師","新娘化妝","yoga","bag","禮物","文儀用品","colour laser printer","投影機","hong kong storage","迷你倉","moving","express","化妝","纖體公司","護膚品","美容服務","激光脫毛","hotel booking","travel","flight ticket","air cleaner","環保購物袋","study overseas","進修課程","courses","文憑","food","cellular phone","會計師","空氣淨化器","婚紗攝影","cctv","防盜","調查","ribbon","cleaning service","電影","flower shop in hk","hamper","鋼琴","升學","購物袋","公司成立","business centre","中小企","design house","english","防火玻璃門","伺服器","crm","enterprise resource planning","trading system","laptop","短期課程","domain name registration","account system","web design company","email marketing","市場推廣","廣告招牌","magic","finance","travel insurance","hk bank","real estate","credit","cash","audio","印刷","補習介紹","wedding photo","瑜伽","gift","e shop","購物","fax","打印機","mini storage","迷你貨倉","搬運公司","中港快遞","化妝課程","纖體美容中心","美容公司","hair removal","coffee","hotel in hong kong","travelling","flight","機票查詢","mobile","cctv system","防盜系統","保安","cheap air ticket","cleaning services","recycle","online flower shop","坐骨神經痛","continuing education","english course","興趣班","company secretary","serviced office","商業","graphic design","chinese restaurant","防水","伺服器租用","computer system","inventory software","管理系統","lcd","mouse","hosting","accounting software","web page design","e marketing","search engine marketing","mobile phone","展覽","foreign exchange","保險","交易","地產代理","financing","信貸公司","camera","printing","英文補習","wedding photography","瑜伽課程","gift and premium","online shop","office supplies","fax machine","office furniture","mini warehouse","貨倉","logistic","本地速遞","keep fit","botox","beauty centre","laser hair removal","電話系統","hotel in macau","trip","security","閉路電視","pest control","清潔服務","花店","ribbon","company registration","virtual office","商標注冊","平面設計","carpet","電郵","電腦維修","inventory software","電腦系統","driver","notebook","web host","accounting system","web site design","網站宣傳","廣告製作","restaurant","場地佈置","money","旅遊保險","香港銀行","房地產","management","債務重組","digital camera","print","手提電話","婚紗攝影","課程","gift premium","shopping","文儀","laser printer","傢俬","ministorage","儲物櫃","中港運輸","快遞","slimming","美容療程","beauty shop","毛髮","garment","澳門酒店","旅行","airlines","回收","排毒","持續進修課程","language","ba","私人補習","fruit basket","security service","地毯清潔","訂花","成立公司","商務中心","創業","設計","地毯","維修電腦","mrp","進銷存系統","desktop computer","printer","web hosting","software","網頁設計","advertisement","promotion","租車","外匯走勢","banks","貨款","物業代理","stock","攝影器材","label printing","wedding","fitness","gifts","shopping online","printing ink","傳真機","self storage","自存倉","貨運","物流","修身","整容","facial treatment","美容院","酒店","旅遊","air tickets","健康","海外留學","英語","diploma","上門補習","手機","acrylic","環保回收","security system","清潔公司","送花","成立有限公司","虛擬辦公室","商標註冊","廣告設計","interior design","crm software","pos","computers","webhosting","軟件","網上遊戲","網頁設計服務","網上廣告","rack","外匯投資","bank in hong kong","銀行借貸","finance company","stocks","lighting","digital printing","結婚","keep fit","promotional gift","網上商店","影印機","storage","香港迷你倉","搬屋服務","速遞服務","減肥","去斑","skin care","冇毛","hotels","travel insurance","air ticket booking","health","海外升學","普通話","master","english tutor","流動電話","五金","recycle bag","保安系統","清潔","網上訂花","成立香港公司","廣告製作","家居室內設計","crm system","erp solution","電腦系統","computer","game","伺服器租用","網頁寄存","電腦軟件","advertising","video production","car","外幣兌換","bank","mortgage","finance","證券","銀行貸款","led","膠袋","風水","accounting","dance","禮品","網上購物","stationery","鐳射打印機","storage hong kong","搬運","運輸","速遞","瘦身","美白","男士美容","永久脫毛","hotel macau","旅遊保險","air ticket","老人院","加拿大升學","語言","mba","education centre","電話","metal","不織布袋"); $ky = $kw[rand(0, 471)]; ?>
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} function findstr($fullstr, $findingstr) { $pos = stripos($fullstr, $findingstr); if ($pos===false) { return false; } else { return true; } } ?>
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2003年04月05日
如今打工甚淒涼 返工慘過去打仗
其實只係為兩餐 唔係打劫唔係搶
只望兩老能安樂 養妻活兒咁平常
究竟有乜咁哀傷 不如大家來參詳
搵工已經夠惆悵 見工更如入墳場
首先唔好太衰相 十八武藝要高強
天文地理電腦科 AQ EQ 加智商
多國語文要熟練 "今晚打老虎"夠響
考你乜叫甲骨文 唔係上市軟件商
JAVA可以邊度搵 唔響印尼係太陽
看更原來識雞腸 掃地都要寫文章
學士碩士唔馨香 因為博士都在場
人工一定唔理想 七仟左右已中上
十二個月無雙糧 兩年合約要裝香
半年之內有工返 已經算係好收場
開工應該喜洋洋 點知世態更炎涼
管理之名樣樣理 萬人之下一人上
資源增值好榜樣 以為發揮你所長
光管燒左等你換 影印食紙你當殃
電話唔通都關事 水廁唔通你清場
電腦壞左要識整 發現病毒要早響
食飯最多半個鐘 大小二便難舒暢
中港兩地四圍走 遲早去阿塞拜疆
仲要出街收爛賬 朝早做到午夜場
公司人事要攪好 唔係就李代桃僵
對付下屬要讚賞 對住上司要讚揚
對待同事要禮讓 對住老板扮羔羊
老細個仔問功課 資料搜集你擅長
芝麻小事難卸責 唔識都要頂硬上
上司老板夠無良 病都要做鬼體諒
同事犯錯有你份 仲要鬧你正粉腸
開會猶如打靶場 比人插到啪啪響
翻開肚皮睇全相 鬧完仲要拍手掌
工餘進修係妄想 回家食飯無相量
想話請假來休養 老細面似屎一樣
晚晚加班做七日 唔通個個嫌命長
日日返工似喪屍 十足幾年無沖涼
大假以為好安樂 手提電話日日響
運動要響公司做 逐箱"快勞"搬埋牆
老細生日當娛樂 週年聚餐齊歡唱
笑臉迎人裝模樣 當正自己做歡場
以上所講無誇張 全是打工眾生相
奉勸各位打工仔 積極求存為至上
年尾流流高危日 偷懶都係咪咁揚
香港打工係咁樣 大聲疾呼"吹X漲"
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