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2002年07月04日
It has been twenty years aleady. The days for me on the earth had pass for twenty years. Am I happy? I have no idea at all. Every single minute, the world is changing. The world around me is changing. Things come and things go. I miss the traditional 'big white biscuit';I miss my tiny little bike with three wheels. I miss my little yellow Mercedes which I can drive around inside my flat. When I think about it now, sometimes it feels like those had just happened yesterday, sometimes, I can't even tell whether those had happened in my dreams or it was real. I hate this feeling, I love those days when I am small, and I want all those bit and pieces of image to be true. I had put them nicely inside a very nice looking treasure box inside my head. I use a really big lock to lock it up, but still, they leave my brain as time goes by, like fragrance, it diminishes. The fragrance is just so sweet, so sweet that I would like to have it forever, but that is impossible, because the wind will blow it away. And as I grow up, I can smell all these other smells, the fragrance became so soft. Other smells will cover it. Your sweat, dust, or the greasy smell after you ate in the resaurant; those will cover up the fragrance. This is something you can't prevent as you grow up, you will have more chance to smell different smells, no matter the smell is good or not, you have no choice as your nose will smells it anyways.
I haven't used that really sweet fragrance for so long already. I can't find it anymore, maybe I use it up already, or I had throw it away, but I had gave up looking for it. Nowadays I am using deodorant. It is different from fragrance, is not so sweet, it smells fresh. It tries to prevent you from having this really awful smell from sweat or other smells. It is not as good as fragrance, because it only last for a very short period of time, but is still better than nothing. Although I know that is impossible for me to find the same gragrance again, as is impossible for me to be as innocent and naive and pure in order to smell that sweet fragrance again, but I know that I will find another kind of fragrance in the future, even I am not innocent, naive or pure, but I can still smell it, which will be more suitable for the twenty years old me. And I will never forget the smell of that sweet fragrance which had been around me in my sweet memories. I will kept all of them in my treasure box till the end of time.
於02年7月發佈



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